Sometimes you just have to go

Sometimes you just have to go

            Having one bathroom can be quite an obstacle for a husband and wife. Especially when I’m the husband and my wife always has to go pee. More often than not I find myself on the outside of the door pounding with tightly clenched fists.

            “Are you almost done?!” I scream. My butt cheeks sealed tight like a pair of mechanical jaws; desperately holding back the coming apocalypse.

            “I just got in here. You’re just going to have to wait your turn.” Her muffled voice taunts me from the other side of the door. I’m sure that I can hear a soft condescending giggle.

            The toilet flushes and it gets harder to suppress the tide. My teeth grind together and I start to pray. The door opens and I rush the stage knocking my wife out of the way.  The thunder echoes from the tile walls and the splash against my bare bottom is followed by sweet relief. I hear my wife from the other side of the door.

            “Oooooh- you better spray something.”